I shall describe an interpersonal conflict situation that happened during a backpacking trip in Europe. A (female) and B (male) were two university students who were assigned exchange programme places at the same foreign university in Europe. Both of them only got to know each other two months before the start of their exchange programme. They contacted each other usually via email and rarely met face to face to develop a better understanding of each other personality. As this was the first trip for A and B to Europe, both of them hoped to visit some of the famous monuments and cities in Europe. Thus, they decided to embark on a month-long backpacking trip before the start of the autumn term.
On the second day of the trip, A suddenly told B not to follow her anymore in a furious tone before storming away. B was totally stunned and totally puzzled of A’s unexpected reaction. On the first day of the trip, A took a more proactive role. She was always reading off the map to find directions to different destinations – train station, hostel or places of interest etc. When in doubt, A would take the initiatives to seek directions from the locals. However, B took a more “backseat” role. He would just tag along with A and was more engrossed in taking photos. The sudden irate reaction by A was probably triggered by B “laid-back” attitude – not volunteering himself to seek out for directions.
Thus, what would be the appropriate actions that B could carry out so as to resolve this unpleasant interpersonal Conflict?
My Final Reflection
15 years ago
This is a pretty short post straight to the point=) However, I would like to ask why did you only mention about what happened in day 1 after day 2? Is there something I missed out while reading because I find it odd to organise it this way?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think that if A is angry with B because B is not helping enough to get both of them around during the trip, B could have done the following (in my personal opinions):
1) Take on a more proactive role during the rest of the trip: Do not just rely on A, take care of each other, be a gentleman!
2) Spend time together: Do not isolate himself. Interact and talk to A more since they did not have the chance to have quality and quantity interaction before their exchange.
3) Share the beautiful pictures that he has taken with A.
4) Take turns to be in-charge of taking photos and getting directions
5) *Optional: do up a photoslide for A after their trip ends! Awww.. that will be so sweet! This can help to foster the friendship (and maybe, more), I think.
However, if A's sudden change in reaction is triggered by other things such as not feeling well, homesick etc, B could try to be more tactful when talking to her. In additional, showing care and concern for each other in a totally foreign country means a great deal to!
Dear ZQ,
ReplyDeleteI wrote the details of day 1 after the conflict (which happens in day 2) so as to give possible reasons for the sudden conflict. Thank you for your valuable comments. From your comment, i can see that you are really a caring person who can really understand the feelings of B. In addition, you give some romatic suggestions! Hope to comment on your Blog post soon!
B should realise that he should resolve this conflict the earliest possible as the whole one month backpacking trip would be ruined.
ReplyDeleteAs ZQ mentioned, B should be more active and be a gentleman. He should help A in finding new hostels, directions and help to carry her stuffs.
Indeed we all know girls like when we give them care and pay attention to them. This will surely help to overcome the conflict.
Since A is in a foreign country, she may be missing her families, B should be her support and try to console her.
Dear Yuvraj,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. However, do you think that B should approach A directly or just walk away and let A some time to cool off?
He should not be losing too much time, maybe approach her after 15 minutes. Then apologise about his actions. Thus they can both enjoy the trip and get to know each other better...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this with us, Terry. It is clear and concise, perhaps a bit concise to a fault. I can't imagine why A would overreact in this situation. A few more details might have made it clearer. I will say though that your post has generated lots of feedback. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteThis was actually a real situation that i faced during the first day of my Europe backpacking trip last summer. I was indeed quite shocked . At that time, i truly felt that it would be better to give A some time to cool down. Thus, I didn’t catch up to ask the reason for firing up so abruptly. However, later that day, she apologised for her harsh remarks. She told me that she has a solitary character who dislikes people following her and copying what she does.
ReplyDeleteAs this was my first backpacking trip in such a faraway place, I thought it would be safer to stick together. Besides, I was carrying huge amount of cash with me. However, I found out from the trip that A is more street-smart and independent than me. This is probably due to the fact that she has had many previous overseas volunteering stints.
Thanks for the added details. Very interesting...and what a learning experience for you!
ReplyDelete