Saturday, February 14, 2009

Business Correspondence Critique

The following is a business letter that is addressed to my mother:

Dear Madam

Budget 2009: One-off Income Tax Rebate for the Year of Assessment 2009 “Defer GIRO” Option for Individual Income Tax Instalment

One-off Income Tax Rebate

To help taxpayers cope with the economic downturn, the government is giving a one-off income tax rebate of 20%, up to a maximum cap of $2,000, for the tax payable for Year of Assessment (YA)2009. This rebate will be applied on income earned in year 2008 by all individual tax residents. IRAS will compute this rebate automatically. You do not need to apply for it.

“Defer GIRO” Option for individual Income Tax Instalment

To help ease the cash flow problem which some taxpayers may be experiencing, taxpayers who are on GIRO instalment payments are given an option to defer their income tax instalment payments on the tax payable for YA 2009 such that the GIRO deductions will start in August 2009 and end in April 2010. There will be no deductions from May 2009 to July 2009. Please refer to the appendix for more information on how your instalment payments would be affected if you opt for the deferment.

Sign Up by 15 March 2009

If you wish to opt for your instalment payments to start in August 2009, you can sign up online at the IRAS website (http://www.xxxxx) from 9 february to 15 March 2009, using your SingPass. You will be granted the instalment deferment once you have signed up and no further changes can be made. Singaporeans (including Permanent Residents), Employment Pass Holders, Entrepreneur Pass Holders and S-Pass Holders may apply for a SingPass website (http://www.xxxxxx).
If you do not have a SingPass or if you need any clarifications on the above, please email us at XXXXXXX or call XXXXXXXX for assistance.

Yours faithfully

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The above letter is in a block format with open punctuation. On the positive side, this letter contains all the necessary standard components of a business letter. Besides, the writer delivers the good news message in a very direct, clear-cut way. Bold Subheadings which precisely summarise the main idea of each paragraph enable the reader to find information of interest quickly in this letter. In addition, the letter contains very specific information such as the definite amount of tax rebate and the deadline of application of the “Defer GIRO” Option. Furthermore, different channels for the application of the “Defer GIRO” Option and enquires are explicitly presented. These factors add up to the concreteness and completeness of this letter.

However, there are some minor flaws which can be improved on. For instance, the length of the first sentence of the second paragraph is too long and this may cause the reader to lose concentration.In addition, there is an incorrect use of a dangling modifier. This sentence can be improved by splitting it up to several shorter statements and avoiding the use of the dangling modifier. Another imperfection that can be rectified is the cohesion of certain sentences. For example, the last two sentences of the first paragraph do not flow smoothly. To achieve smooth transitions between these sentences, conjunctions like “as” can probably be used.